It’s. Not. All about me

It’s all about me.

I’m an Aries. What can I say? We think we’re the first astrological sign for a reason-we’re of the utmost importance. We’re first. Period.

It’s kind of embarrassing really. My daughter bought into it by giving me a big ole’ button for Mother’s Day that says…it’s all about MEEE!!!

Reminders keep coming to me that this philosophy is not necessarily so. While I was working Chillage last month,  a friend asked me if I wanted anything from a local restaurant. I said sure, bring me some pizza. And I waited and waited and finally, it dawned on me that they were all going to eat dinner, and would bring back my food when they were finished with their meal. Ah! The light bulb flashed on as my co-worker at the front desk said: “So, it’s not all about you.” Do I wear that button on me without actually wearing it??

This is the very danger of yoga - that we believe it’s all about Me. We come to yoga because, on some level, we want to work on ourselves. We want to devote time to our bodies, our minds, for our own health and wellbeing. We gotta start there. We truly do. And yet we need to move on, to think and act beyond ourselves.

Our yoga practice is simply practice for life off the mat. We only have to make that transference.

On the mat, we aim to be present for ourselves. We invite in the physical sensations, the emotional releases, and the ever flowing river of thoughts.  We breathe into the uncomfortableness. My daughter has sciatica issues and went to acupuncture for treatment. She was told to practice pigeon pose for about 2 minutes to help open up the tight places. She said  she hated pigeon because it hurts to practice it, much less for that long. That’s the yoga. To dare to go into those places where it is not pleasant and not comfortable and breathe into and be present with what is going on.

It’s all about you.

I was reading Erich Schiffman, who declares  yoga is about love. Patanjali, in his Yoga Sutras, gives a road map of how to treat ourselves and one another. No harm, no greed, honesty, not stealing—all ways we aspire to be - with ourselves and with others.

My best friend’s mother has been dying. The hardest lesson was letting go of my own day to day needs and listening, and ministering, to  her needs. Yes, my current  definition of love is  when I am thinking about someone else, not myself.

We need to be able to take care of ourselves and our own needs and then to move to that place of caring for someone else, even better. Then we are equipped to be there for others when it is not so comfortable, even painful.

I swallowed my pride (and stuffed the ego after  a bit) and stepped up to the plate with my friend, letting go of what I thought I heard and was  there for her. I had already done that with offering to do tasks, like dog walking, but I wasn’t present where needed.

It’s all about everyone

Finally, the goal of yoga is to reach enlightenment. I  taught a yoga class for students at Roanoke College who are studying enlightenment. For an entire semester they get to ponder what that is. Imagine that!  I’m thinking it’s all about all of us. Everyone. And enlightenment is that place when we don’t even think about ourselves as being distinguished from everyone else. We remember we are all the same. The ego disappears. And Oneness happens. Pure Love.

That’s all for now. Thanks for listening.

Love is the seed, surrender the bud, and service the fruit. When love itself is lacking, there cannot be any true surrender or service. Serve with a full heart. By making others happy, you make yourself happy.
—Swami Kripalu