8-12-13

Attachment creates suffering. Oh boy does it! It’s easy to see where we go habitually. It’s simple to figure out even what the attachments are. It is very challenging to let go of them.

Yoga philosophy advises us to not get attached to anything, whether it’s pleasurable or painful, because it will change, like the weather, like the seasons. We could appreciate the sun on our skin and the next minute the clouds come in and there’s no sun. We can appreciate the sun when we had it, or we can lament that it is gone.

Yesterday I taught a yoga class at Virginia Mountain Vineyards. What a glorious day! It was less hot and humid. There was a breeze and the ever changing blue sky with clouds floating by. The vineyard was full of vines laden with grapes, different from our last yoga class there. I had an idea what I would teach, the yoga we would practice on a hot summer day outdoors. We were covered with a tent top, and the vineyard owner had wanted some deep stretching. I aim to please, especially since she was gracious enough to share her lovely space and incredible view with us!

And, I realized on the way out to the vineyard and winery, that I need not be attached to what postures I would teach. Actually this one is pretty easy for me, as I teach rather intuitively anyway. I like to have a plan but then tailor it to the needs of the moment. Sure ’nuff-someone needed shoulder work, so we got that in with the hip, hamstring and back stretching. So I wasn’t suffering from that.

Yet I did ask everyone to consider letting go of attachments while we were there. We can be attached to our expectations. As a beginner to yoga, we can be attached to not “looking foolish” in front of a friend. We can be attached to having yoga in the same spot or occupying the same space in the yoga room.

What I found was that I was attached to how a relationship used to be. I was caught up in the past and couldn’t move forward. I have a friend, and I’m finding the relationship between us has changed. Our paths do not cross as often, especially as often as I want. Our communication and therefore connection isn’t as frequent or as close. What I have found is that I was so longing for the friendship to be the way it used to be.  I was so attached to my expectation that I couldn’t see very clearly what was happening. When I was able to open my eyes, I realized we have each moved on to other friends, and actually, that we don’t really have similar interests in activities anymore. Maybe the other person changed or maybe I have, but my expectations had to shift because I was in pain. I was mourning the loss of the relationship, the loss of the friendship as I had once experienced it.

I had expectations about the friendship. I have expectations about how a yoga class will go. I have expectations and desires about how my day will proceed. As the song says, I can see clearly now. My attachment is gone. Well, maybe. Again, it’s one thing to recognize our suffering and find the root of it. It’s another to let go and find healing. I’m working on it. It’s always a struggle, until it’s not.

I look forward to when it’s not. Letting go of attachments is about letting go of how we think things should be, and opening ourselves up to how they are. We make the shift from illusion to reality. It’s a process.

Meanwhile, I invite you to look at your attachments, to the “habits” that create your suffering or do you some harm.

Namaste